I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
