hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
