Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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