Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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