So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
