tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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