Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
