Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
