Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
