Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
pray to the hookup gods
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
