Me too!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize