If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
