if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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