Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Life without a bra equals bliss.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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