so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
