stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
