And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
