Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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