i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
