just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
