wat bout pragnant strippers??
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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