he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
