direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
