he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
