She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
