my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize