she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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