some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
