Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How does it feel to date your dad?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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