sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
