How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
MIDGETS
????
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
