Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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