the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
