he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
