Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize