@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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