I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
