I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
