omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
