He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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