he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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