Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
