She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Even my vagina gasped.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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