Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
