I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
