I just cut my nipple shaving
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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