Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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