You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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