This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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