That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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