Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
