Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
