Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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