All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
