More tranny stories later!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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