i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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