So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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