is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
