So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
