I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
